Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
