Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
