you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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