That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
