When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I love having hate sex.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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