Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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