Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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