Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize