He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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