i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
