tell your sister to shave her snatch
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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