Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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