...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
