Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
