think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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