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I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
