I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
