Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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