but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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