I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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