I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
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This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
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I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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