paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
