well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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