also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Drake has all the answers
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
