For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
