the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
