Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think weed is turning my hair brown
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
