So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
