im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
