i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the day after is always just damage control
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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