Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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