i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
