i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
