I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
