Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
