These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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