it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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