Someone shit on the floor
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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