i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
