Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
