so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
