Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
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The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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