Only a mothe r could love this liver
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
