Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
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stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
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