Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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