what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
