You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
