dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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