Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i'm going to rape that little man

(414): View more from Wisconsin

omg not your brother

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(414): i'm going to rape that little man (414): omg not your brother http://tfl.nu/01hx

Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (1244)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey

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(416): I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey http://tfl.nu/3mx1

Replies (14) Good night (1187) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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(812): View more from Indiana

Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.

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(812): Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support. http://tfl.nu/gdfj

Replies (1) Good night (1598) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

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(901): I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game. http://tfl.nu/7tak

Replies (15) Good night (476) Bad night (2261)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads

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(617): Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads http://tfl.nu/gove

Replies (41) Good night (11670) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
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(785): View more from Kansas

last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.

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(785): last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ifrq

Replies (18) Good night (7384) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?

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(978): Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th? http://tfl.nu/27j9

Replies (12) Good night (3156) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.

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(310): Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical. http://tfl.nu/lnv3

Replies (5) Good night (1537) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.

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(403): Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out. http://tfl.nu/zi3g

Replies (18) Good night (2043) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.

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(512): We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots. http://tfl.nu/ta1s

Replies (10) Good night (1150) Bad night (1609) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?

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(919): He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ? http://tfl.nu/856o

Replies (12) Good night (1612) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.

(1-407): View more from Florida

Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.

(407): View more from Florida

Bro? You just made it a target.

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(407): Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy. (1-407): Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far. (407): Bro? You just made it a target. http://tfl.nu/0hg2

Replies (7) Good night (2246) Bad night (837)
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(773): View more from Illinois

she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep

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(773): she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/xysb

Replies (11) Good night (1646) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs

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(704): Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs http://tfl.nu/e56e

Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.

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(609): I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth. http://tfl.nu/4sxy

Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (151) Order T-Shirt

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