why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
someone owes me an orgasm
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.