ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.