Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.

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  (323): At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands. http://tfl.nu/8842
  Replies (13) Good night (1609) Bad night (539)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.

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  (908): So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college. http://tfl.nu/jk80
  Replies (30) Good night (1381) Bad night (5815)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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  (609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm
  Replies (10) Good night (870) Bad night (4615)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  What'd you guys eat?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Literally everything that was frozen.

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  (918): What'd you guys eat? (1-918): Literally everything that was frozen. http://tfl.nu/igjp
  Replies (8) Good night (4185) Bad night (934)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve

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  (732): Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve http://tfl.nu/de13
  Replies (4) Good night (4528) Bad night (859)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?

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  (360): True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not? http://tfl.nu/5au2
  Replies (4) Good night (2229) Bad night (1024)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?

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  (570): I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to? http://tfl.nu/dwjv
  Replies (3) Good night (1109) Bad night (882)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Cant promise that last part. I won't die though

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  (410): Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots (1-410): Cant promise that last part. I won't die though http://tfl.nu/qr7s
  Replies (1) Good night (1178) Bad night (523)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.

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  (701): Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves. http://tfl.nu/z6ix
  Replies (3) Good night (1118) Bad night (425)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.

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  (267): I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads. http://tfl.nu/108g
  Replies (4) Good night (1075) Bad night (405)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?

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  (412): Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony? http://tfl.nu/xq89
  Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (391)
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  (858): View more from California

  you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.

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  (858): you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you. http://tfl.nu/hkpv
  Replies (2) Good night (1276) Bad night (336)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What drugs are we doing when you visit?

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.

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  (402): What drugs are we doing when you visit? (1-402): The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles. http://tfl.nu/97ps
  Replies (2) Good night (1111) Bad night (379)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.

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  (720): New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air. http://tfl.nu/zwsc
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (271)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month

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  (412): somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month http://tfl.nu/lqqv
  Replies (3) Good night (320) Bad night (402)

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