I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
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IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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