I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.