The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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