yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I am one with the molecules
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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