are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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