she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
