If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
