I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
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You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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