Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
