My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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