So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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