i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
