I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
