Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
