Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
