I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
