i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
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