halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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