dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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