Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
